Common Misconceptions About Self Advocacy
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When I was little I was told that girls should be seen and not heard. Inferring that I should blend into the background and not bother anyone. Not take up too much space.
The problem with not taking up space is that it’s suffocating. You end up hiding parts of yourself and only half showing up. And that’s no way to be fulfilled.
When you have hearing loss, it may feel easier to hide away, to withdraw from people and be alone. But you have just as much right to take up space as anyone else. The right to enjoy your life, to feel part of things, to feel fulfilled.
Many people worry that if they start speaking up and asking for what they need, others will view them negatively. This is just one of many misconceptions people have about self-advocacy. Here’s a few more.
1. Self-advocacy is selfish or demanding.
Self-advocacy is about expressing your needs, rights, and preferences—not about being demanding or saying that your needs are more important than anyone elses. It’s not about getting ‘preferential treatment’ Self advocacy is about creating a level playing field so that you have the same opportunities and access as everyone else.
2. It means you don’t need help from others.
You don’t have to go it alone. Self-advocacy often involves seeking support, collaboration, or resources from others. Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean you don’t need allies, mentors, or community support. Reach out to people, make connections and never be afraid to ask for help.
3. It’s confrontational.
There’s a big difference between being assertive and being confrontational. Assertiveness can include calmly explaining needs, or educating others about what you need from them. It does take practice, but if you don’t speak up for yourself, who will?
4. You need to have perfect communication skills.
Self-advocacy is not about being an eloquent speaker or writer. It’s about expressing yourself in a way that works for you, whether through spoken words, writing, gestures, or assistive technology. Not everyone gets things right the first time and it’s normal to feel emotional, have patience with yourself.
5. It’s only for people with severe disabilities or marginalized groups, this doesn’t apply to me.
While self-advocacy is especially critical for individuals in marginalized communities, everyone can benefit from advocating for their needs, goals, and rights. By making people think differently about how they communicate and interact with you - you are also helping them think about their interactions with others.
6. If you self-advocate, you’ll always get what you want.
Self-advocacy does not guarantee you’ll always get what you want, but it increases the likelihood of being heard and finding solutions. The more you practice the easier it will become. You can’t control the actions of others, but you can control how you react to them.
7. It’s about being aggressive or pushing others.
It’s normal to get frustrated or angry when people don’t support you or ignore your needs. But you don’t need to be argumentative to get your point across. Effective self-advocacy focuses on mutual respect and constructive dialogue. Think of ways you can get people to understand your situation, what you’re facing, and how stressful it is for you. If they understand what you’re going through, they are more likely to be supportive.
8. You should know everything about your rights or condition to self-advocate.
While knowledge helps, self-advocacy is a learning process. You don’t need to know everything about hearing loss or what works best straight away. Asking questions and finding out information is part of advocating for yourself. Make a list of questions to ask your audiologist or consultant, contact local support groups.
9. People have a right to know why you have hearing loss if you discuss your needs with them.
They don’t. No one has the right to ask for your medical information. It’s your choice whether or not to tell them. Steer the conversation back to communication, and how they can support you. If they insist on asking, it isn’t rude to say you don’t want to talk about it with them. Part of self advocacy is creating boundaries with others.
10. It’s a one-time action.
Self-advocacy is an ongoing process, there will always be people who forget to speak up or face you when talking. If you find yourself constantly having to remind the same people, it could be that they forget because they’re wrapped up in their own issues. Or that they still don’t really understand your difficulties.
In some cases it may be best to reevaluate the relationship. If you’re around people who don’t support you or make things harder for you, your wellbeing will suffer.
Self advocacy is telling people your needs, understanding your rights and setting healthy boundaries for yourself. Not everyone will appreciate it, especially if they are used to getting their own way and don’t make space for others.
But there will be people who will adapt and be supportive. Once you start speaking up, others may surprise you.